She sends them for almost the whole summer to their grandfathers house and we had to fight for the Monday of a 3 day weekend!! I know for myself, I have no contact with my ex's family. You can only control your reaction to it. 1. We had birthday parties when they visited, Christmas and such. Submitted by disneymom78 on Fri, 09/10/2010 - 5:53pm, Submitted by vb4ever1 on Sat, 05/21/2011 - 12:16pm, Submitted by skylarksms on Fri, 09/10/2010 - 2:30pm. It was getting ridiculous. At the beginning of the relationship, this caused a lot of hassle. So again, just give it some time. Despite all the marriages/men she's had in the intervening years, she always insisted on keeping DH's last name. I finally told my mother that it was either ME or the ex. My SS9's BM has renewed her relationship with DH's father, who she refused to speak with while they were married. Submitted by Versatility on Fri, 09/13/2019 - 3:37pm, Submitted by Rags on Fri, 09/13/2019 - 3:39pm. I understand the connections, as BM lived there for awhile and how they got closer while my H was gone to keep in touch of SS. DH said she was sad that we couldn't all be good friends. Whatever [] Every time you read, share, comment or heart you help an article improve its Ratingwhich helps Readers see important issues & writers win $$$ from Elephant. Now the ex-wife has friend requested them on Facebook "so she can get pictures of the baby". I am very conscious of being respectful of my exhusbands wife. Submitted by pat on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 9:11am. Well, this could happen occasionally, by mistake. Honey Baby- Why can't every Ex wife be like you?! Friends don't have sex with each other, so if you cross that line, you aren't "just friends" anymore. Now suddenly they are blood sisters! She's never around when I am so it's not worth spending energy on something I can't do anything about. I told him to explain and he wouldnt. My XILs sent me a birthday card with money in it every year for ~10yrs after their whore of a daughter and I divorced. The four of them have never even met the ex-wife. Now everything we drive by her house he stares. His family is over 1000 miles away, he moved here to be with her, she cheated on him, they divorced. I dont see him as a replacement for my late husband, but I feel like Im just a replacement for his ex wife. "It sends a real signal that the Russians are in real difficulties if they're having to go to the likes of Iran for drones and North Korea for ammunition," he added. Shes there, too. You name it, this woman has done it, she flat told us that she was going to ruin our marriage if it was the last thing she did. I start thinking about how much longer I can take this, and that hurts even more. Submitted by sickogthex on Thu, 08/09/2012 - 10:29pm. MIL and SIL's have no relationship with them. The thing is, I am mature enough to say, that the ex is a nice enough person, IF you are on her side of course, but she has NOTHING nice to say about me. His sis comes to town, visits ex and not us. Us ( you and your husband ) or her. he started dating me when he still liked her/had a thing for her. I guess they are still nice to me out of respect and it is definately easier for their grandchild/nephew. Before you assume the worst: if he still talks to his ex-girlfriend or ex-wife, thats not necessarily bad. I used to coin a phrase to my H when I would mention BMs close behavior "if I had to be completely dependent upon your family just for us to be that close, I'll pass and keep my independence-thanks". You won't believe what you're going to find and how it after millions of years relates to you. They are still married. The BM in our case still speaks to DH's family a lot, and they love talking to her, too - that being said, it's a lot more recently that they divorced in our case, she was relatively close with them during the marriage and she lives closer to them and has the kids most of the time. Be very direct and don't send mixed signals so she thinks there could be a chance. Favorite Bookmark for later. She is holding herself back from moving forward, and creating a new life, with NEW PEOPLE, and a new family she could be a part of. GREAT POST! Im wondering, Is he still thinking about his ex?. I just haven't made it my issue. Or that a guy still has one foot in the old relationship and one foot in the new relationship?. Even if you slip, each day is a new opportunity to be kind. 25 Funny Morning Memes That Are A Little Too Accurate, 25 Hilarious Group Chat Memes You'll Find Too Familiar, 18 Funny Hunting Memes That Are Insanely Accurate, 25 Exhausted Memes You'll Find Way Too Funny, 50 Quotes to Remind You That You Are So Much Stronger Than You Think, 70 Best Quotes for Amazing Step Parents in Your Life, 90 Heart-Fluttering Quotes About Unexpected Love. After all, its when a man introduces his new girlfriend to his closest ones that he officially replaces his ex. It really is the only thing you can do. kids are 13 and under. Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist I think my boyfriend still has feelings for his ex, Yeah, this certainlyhas something to do with it.. No mention of me in that title. The ex wife is invited to my husbands family eventsand even worse she COMES!!! I CANNOT believe there are others out there in this situation!!!! This one you should probably have noticed. The fact that hes talking about her simply means that shes on his mind. However, men rarely understand the impact of certain actions, thats why they sometimes send you mixed signals. Wow. If you need to hide your Facebook posts from public view or block a toxic ex from your Instagram account because theyre constantly keeping tabs on you, thats okay. PS: If you want to make sure you are not making any mistakes that scare him away (back to his ex), I recommend you download a smallreport called The 5 most common texting mistakes that women make that scare guys away. Click here to receive it now for free. Its so dysfunctional it makes me sick. We have been married for nine. My husband talked to his son and let him know that he did not approve of his underage drinking and that not only was it extremly dangerous it was against the law! Because then chances are that he is using you as a replacement for his ex-girlfriend or ex-wife. I find that the communication between an ex and her ex's family whether it be parental, sibling, cousins, etc..is completely disrespectful and crosses many boundaries. My husband won, got the parenting time he was entitled to but everything was a fight. The best way to approach the situation is to be honest about being hurt. Is that normal with your boyfriend and his ex wife still go hang out with his ex wife. Submitted by winehead on Tue, 06/01/2010 - 9:25am. It has nothing to do with boundaries. I do understand though. That is only a control thing, period. Every time he talks about her, he thinks about her. They have children together . my DH's ex is still in contact with some of his family and I don't care. Enter your email below and receive my free report with the 5 texting mistakes noW! She didn't want the life when she had it but now she does or just refuses to let go "stupid". The divorce was like 10 years ago now, cant believe she is that possessed by it. If Your Partner Does These 23 Things, They Aren't Over Their Ex - Bustle But if you notice that he is often thinking about other things and doesnt seem to listen to you when youre talking, then Id recommend that you bring this up him and ask him whats wrong. One woman asked me: Im right now in a relationship with a man. I told her not to contact my family , but, she did. Your free account lets you heart articles, follow authors, comment, Boost, and support Elephant's writers. Its really disrespectful if you ask me i can understand if maybe it was about the baby but it makes me wanna get up and leave or say something. 8 Signs He Is NOT Over Her, How To Make Him Miss You Like Crazy After A Breakup 12 Simple Steps, He Says He Doesnt Want A Relationship? My boyfriend's ex won't go away. In our ten months together, his ex has Well, she had 1 daughter before their marriage, then they had his 3. Her keeping in contact and saying "Happy mothers day" to my DH's mom has GOT to piss him off! Even if you are his girlfriend, does he really treat you like one, or does he show up when it suits him and leave you waiting for his call? Sounds exactly like my DH's ex. And it DOES NOT mean that he wants to go back together with her either. Fast forward to today. No sane man wants to make his girlfriend insecure. Why do people have to act so crazy with all the garbage? He says all the nice things that you want to hear, Hes fully focused on you when youre intimate, He probably takes you to the same restaurants, Takes you on the same walks or venues for dates. Then pause and see what he says. Before mom called SpermGrandHag she visited us and witnessed a call from the Hag that put any idea my mom may have had that the Hag could be reasonable to rest. BIL and BILs live-in GF, both have said they hate BM. He did make sure he let his family know what a "great and caring" Mom she was. I know for myself, I have no contact with my ex's family. So Im dating this guy who is still best-friend with his ex-gf. This issue is one of the many that is tearing me and DH apart. i said wen u get out lets just b friends take it sliw he said no i know wat i want that u we wrote phone calls in all his letter he tell me how much he loves me i brought him out of darkness he has big dreams 4 us hell never change bout how he feels 4 me b in love well wen he got out he told me that he only want 2 b a friend he moving 8 months 2 his mom his ex he talk so bad about got there son taken away 2 state wen he got out he got him bak now his ex rehab has her personal b longing in his closet she doesnt want someone steal her stuff while in rehab.. he sys she didnt put her things in her son cliset his cliset her ex .. that told me they still having sex she over there wen the boy not surpise 2 b round his mom he lets his son c her not let the case worker know plz give me ur advice anyone . !. " Evident signs that he misses his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend, and how to deal with it. The rest of his family can't stand ex because of the way she treated (and continues to treat my DH) and thinks the relationship with the inlaws is crazy, which is some comfort. GROW UP & MOVE ON!!! Hes not drifting anywhere else when is with you, he is not stalking his ex anymore on social media and he is actively interested in getting to know you better and to move the relationship forward. The sooner you're both able to cut ties, the sooner you can heal. I met someone else, we married, he has three kids (two ex-wives). I guess I just needed to vent. My DH's ex left him because she "wasn't happy" and created all kind of grief and wreaked havoc in his life and the lives of his daughters. Find out more here!We've all had those relationships that involve dealing with a seemingly "crazy" ex-girlfriend who don't leave your new boo alone. It might take him some time to digest what just happened, but he now knows that having her in the picture hurts you, and it's his job to fix it. In your case, she does seem a little nutty and it probably is a control or "nosy" thing like others have said. And its up to you to make him aware of this . Copyright 2023 Waylon H. Lewis Enterprises. After a while he said he wanted to give her closure. Thats something you need to understand, and I think youll realize it when you look at the situation yourself. Its just sooo weird, and she seems to think it is perfectly normals, since well, "she was here first!" He truly believes that she just doesn't get it. When I began dating someone who came with the added bonus of an ex who wasnt ready to let go, it was a challenge I wasnt quite ready for. In this case, you should be happy that hes being a good father. Her poor husband and kids. When youve had a long relationship with someone, and the relationship suddenly ends Of course, your feelings for that person dont suddenly just go away after a couple of months. Submitted by thefunmommy on Wed, 12/07/2011 - 8:02pm. And in the meantime, you can tell that hes not one hundred percent there. MIL also told me (and had told me before) about how she had asked to visit with the kids and made plans with them just for BM to cancel or no show. But if he's always bringing her up, maybe a small part of him enjoys the drama of having two women fight over him? That really upsets me.Dont know exactly why. pinkmonkey free cliffnotes cliffnotes ebook pdf doc file essay summary literary terms analysis professional definition summary synopsis sinopsis interpretation critique We never know we go when we are going- Analysis Emily Dickinson itunes audio book mp4 mp3 mit ocw Online Education homework forum help. He can't be in. *49 Reasons Why He Will Ignore You, Go Silent, or Not Share his Feelings - Specific circumstances as to what went wrong. Get a life, one that is yours not your ex's!!! If you recognize some of these signs, and youve only been dating for a few months, then there isnt much cause for concern. But its been very weird lately with how his son been acting towards me. As for the XW/BM or XH/BioDad, if they are not toxic, manipulative or interfering and are reasonable then there is no problem. Its also true that within his social circle, he now keeps the door open to get back with his ex. But the factthathe still thinks about her, and that he still loves his ex, does NOT mean that he does not love you or that he doesnt want a relationship with you. Doesn't mean I didn't get taken aback when BM walked into MILs house without so much as a knock on the door and asked for some desert to go this past Thanksgiving. My situation just feels so extremely abnormal and crazy! Wouldnt he rather be with her? If a guy is sad for a day, its not a big deal. cuz he broke my heart . Because #1, I don't need him seeing pics of me and my now XBF and taking that back to the XMIL/ex hubby (gossip). Hes texting or contacting her behind your back. It just baffles me though. The truth is when a man is over a woman, hes generally neutral about it or doesn't feel the need to mention her at all. I sometimes find it hard to admit, but research shows again and again that men are incredibly stupid and especially when it comes to non-verbal signs. But now to find out she is "cool" with it was just the last straw for my husband! And that they had something going on longer than I thought. The question is, does he want to? She commented on her own daughter's page how good it feels to be reunited with someone after a deployment. He said he felt bad for doing it. Its like he treats you as if you were his girlfriend, but you can tell that hes not one hundred percent present in the situation. We're community-driven. Submitted by fruststepmama on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 7:08pm. Don't take the bait by arguing back. Submitted by Waitingfor2018 on Tue, 09/14/2010 - 1:40pm. Then ask yourself why theyre still in touch, and find out how often and in what way they have contact. This would not be a problem for me except that she has told many people, including going to my parents house and telling them, that my husband was sleeping with her. He has been helping men and women get relationship succes since 2008. Men most of the time dont do it on purpose. She treated his family (sisters, parents, etc.) Do not engage: While you may have to discuss logistics about joint assets or your children, it doesn't mean you must engage in every comment he makes. My husband is divorced, and his family is very close to his ex. He wants me to forget about it, but I cant seem to. My husband is also frustrated with his family for not respecting his wishes. And like I said, I had to give a simple answer: Yeah, hes still thinking about his ex.. Always remember that you deserve to be in a relationship that makes you feel safe, and you should never have to compete for your man's attention. No matter how hard you try, every attempt to "be the bigger person" or "kill 'em with kindness" will ultimately fail. No they didn't, that's a bullshit excuse and they should know it. But we get him every weekend. Submitted by hoshort on Tue, 06/01/2010 - 9:16am. It really hurt my feelings to see some of the things my mother would write, and what Mrs. Psycho would write in response, not only about my DH but also about me and my daughter. Sometimes I succeeded, but other times it got under my skin. It doesn't matter if it was in the past. So perhaps Im going to do something very manly and stupid: answering a question that hasnt been asked to me at all. She is pursuing her pas, Crystal Tomlinsonis a wild-turned-woman-child and isnt sure if shell ever grow up. sounds like she's just causing trouble for the sake of causing trouble. It's basic human instincts. My relationship has nothing to do with the new wife or her relationships with them. Children should never trump the adult relationship/marriage at the heart of the blended family. BM has also started befriending the "new" family members. My ex-father-in-law once FB friend requested me, I declined. 8 Tips On What To Do When His Ex-Girlfriend Won't Leave Him Alone I thought I was the only one going through this with my partner's ex-girlfriend. Since 2008 Ive been coaching men and women to archieve succes and happiness in their love lives. She stayed in. You cannot co-parent with a toxic person. You deserve the peace, and keeping your partners ex from seeing what you did Friday night can actually spare them from additional hurt. But don't bring it up again, and don't ask for an apology. MIL potty trained him, and always was taking SS when BM and H lived there when they were fighting (which was very often). why did he pretend again 2 love me wen i was already in love wat was his gain from hurting me not once but twice bout be onlove with me he never share same feelings as i he mislead me again why all i did love him real live and furnish his apartment 2 bedroom and his son room, I was dumped after 47yrs of marrige and said he never loved me plus he still wants his ex from 1969 My husband's ex doesn't get it. He has since told me that all those thoughts were mistakes and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. She doesn't much anymore, but I think that's more because she's busy. The weird part--the ex sends them all Facebook friend requests, comments on their pictures, etc. Should he insult you, or jab at your self-esteem, do NOT engage. Feel the need to vent to release my frustrations. How he deals with his ex can tell you whether shes the problem or whether he might still have feelings for her and they have unfinished business. That was an awful 13 months. I guess just have his sister have a talk with them and tell them about how her/uncle are no longer a couple, and you are the aunt now. My BM used to call my mil all the time and try to start crap. You are smart and mature. My MIL told them to leave, I couldn't understand it, I had never had any contact with my ex, wouldn't even talk to him over the phone because of two jealous asses, her and my ex. so happy 2 herre from me he also told me he love me . His ex had a baby shower for my SIL at my inlaws houseI wasnt invited to. Ive been with my boyfriend little over a year and a half. What If You Refuse to Take Your Narcissistic Ex Back? As a side note my husbands parents pay for his very expensive hobby (even though he is 38 years old), so whatever they want to do, he does. Wow. :/, Submitted by sickogthex on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 5:02pm. I dont buy it. Yeah, then its obvious hes still not over her. SIL goes out with BM at night. It would be more worrying if he would instantly forget about her. Here's how to set boundaries and protect your relationship. If the are toxic, they are confronted. We have been married 3 years, and my in-laws continue to maintain a relationship with ex "for the sake of the girls." !Its just strange and pathetic. It's free. The I Want U Back Ex: Like the Cher Lloyd song, I broke it off thinkin youd be crying Now I feel like shh and look at you flyin. I still talk to my SIL, my MIL passed away recently. Well, I thought it was heading in the right direction, but lately, hes been very depressed. Talk about awkward. My SIL even gave the EX our wedding photo login then made excuses!! Another red flag and question you should ask yourself is: Why is he still following her on social media? Hes been divorced twice. I keep my distance, but I visit once in a while. (Which doesnt change the fact thatits super uncomfortable for you.). I do not think it is right under any circumstance for a married person to be hanging out with somebody gunning for their marriage! I will never severe a relationship with an ex or their family again. Submitted by angelkiss on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:01am. You are obviously holding your end of the bargain but your boyfriend is not. Oh, but (name of his ex) did it like this.. And now I want to visit my MIL and see my kids at her house, she gets mad??? But what if it goes on for a week or more? I didn't expect my kid's to choose between us, but my PARENTS? He is using you. The first marriage was 20 years and two grown kids. Suppose her stuff is stacked in boxes in the aisle. Could it be that this has something to do with it? Like any other challenge in your life, this, too, is a lesson. "His Ex Won't Go Away!" Fix Your Boundaries & PROTECT Your Heart They were never married! For all appearances they were fine, nice and upstanding people. A message on Facebook? a small part of him enjoys the drama of having two women fight over him. My husband asked and his Mother said it was sent to her and since it had grandson in it she put it in photo album. And thats, of course, a very painful realization. If he's protective of you and cares about your feelings, he won't bring her up in conversation because everyone knows that's rude and disrespectful. He also told his dad that while he liked me "alright enough" he didn't want us to get married because that would mean his mom would be alone. Am I sleeping with the enemy?" "Claire, I just love you. with his mentally unstable, promiscuous ex-wife. My H was deployed for over a year and over that time, I think MIL had SS more often than BM if not equal amount of time. This means do not defend yourself, insult him back, or threaten to take away the said assets or children. Needless to say, I am devastated. Anyway, I knew their conversations/messages involved more things than just shoe sizes because they kept in contact. But if there are still things from her laying around, thats often because he hasnt fully processed the whole breakup situation yet. Idk but deep down I know there something going on. that he doesnt want a relationship with you, 3. Submitted by bjmoore17 on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 10:49am. It's really hard to, but you've got let it go. I sort of feel bad for them. She remarried and has 2 more for a total of 6 kidsI mean, wowwouldnt you think she has some attachment to my husband to make such an effort to stay relevant with his family when you have 6 kids?? We ARE good people, regardless of the terrible way we met, and we have proven that time and again. We deal with it. You become lovers. It's normal for her to at least be cordial with her child's family, but that family can have access to that child through the father. Be honest about being hurt it shows you have feelings and boundaries that he should respect. I did have to put a stop to his ex sending desserts to his family holidays with me there. lol like a 5 year old fighting over a spot in line. During a particularly vitriolic rant by SpermGrandHag over a speaker phone my mom jumped in with a "Shame on you" and hung up on the Hag in the middle of a discussion between the Hag and my bride regarding an upcoming SS visit to SpermLand. If your partner is not over their ex, you may feel their lack of commitment in your relationship. I realized when a person does that to a guy, the guy gets put in a weird incel mentality if done enough. They are friends with her on facebook and his grandma tells her she misses her and everything. We are the NEW and improved wives!!! How can I get him to think of me instead of his ex? Then I met my current husband. Ill tell my bf. But dont take it out on us. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Amanda Christmann is a freelance writer and editor who loves good words, good wine and good times with friends and family. Well, we're in kind of an opposite situation. Submitted by pat on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 11:10am. New aunt had already called the police and they were actually already at the toll booth and saw everything. I assumed Id marry a widower. Submitted by Fasig on Mon, 12/26/2011 - 8:05pm. Last night, my SD, 20, told us that if her grandparents (my MIL and FIL) weren't coming to our house for Thanksgiving, that her mom was going to take the daughters to visit them. I have somewhat expressed this to my MIL and she seems receptive and says she believes SS13 is old enough to understand now. Hoshort your singing to the choir!!!!!! Because I sincerely believe that hes got your best interests at heart. I would think she would have a lot more respect and maturity than to act the way she does. Her family told her she was pretty much a moron. 12 Memes About Exes That'll Make You Remember Why You Broke Up It isnt that they really want your partner back; its that they dont want to see them happy with another person. People need to move on. She's gone to the point of actually putting her children in harms way for revenge against DH. Why won't Husband's ex-wife let go of his family?? - StepTalk.org Research has shown that the act of ignoring or excluding activates the same area of the brain that is activated by physical pain. I was amazed one year at Christmas (DH has custody) when HIS family sent DSD's Christmas presents to BM's house, but whatever. UGGHHHHH! No one can ruin your day without your permission. my DH and the BM ex slag have been divorced for 7 years. She has talked so much crap about us in front of the kids, the oldest, that actually understands more of what is going on, seems unsure about us at times, especially in front of her, and it is just sad. They're all good to me and even include my BD in their lives, so I just leave it alone. Why won't Husband's ex-wife let go of his family?? However, they still invited BM to the baby shower. Why she thinks she has a right to be a part of mine and my daughter's life just b/c my DH and her forgot to wear a condomn when they were in college makes no sense to me. Of course, Trescott says that you should first try approaching the situation with an "I" instead of "you" statement, so . 3 Stages of Obsession Obsessive love is based on fantasy and illusion. When a man is over a woman, hes generally neutral about it or doesnt mention her at all. Different strokes I guess..I call my ex mil my mil..we talk about once a week..see each other a few times a month. Our two kids are not invited to the (SIL) birthday parties or MIL's grandkid get togethers.