she wants space but still wants to see me

So, when your ex girlfriend says she needs space, it means that something needs to change in your approach. We're still together, for now. I help over 1 million men a year build long-term, masculine happiness after being dumped. When she says she needs space and time, there is no one set of time that you should wait. Known as stress spillover, after a stressful life event, close relationships often suffer setbacks, even if everything else in the relationship is going well. In my head I had already made her my girlfriend. If she still doesnt give you a clear reason as to why she wants space, leave the situation for what it is. I explained this to her and she understood. But thats a complete waste because you could use this crisis to your advantage. At this point Im confused. My Girlfriend Said She Needs Space | The Modern Man She may not be able to articulate exactly whats bothering her, but merely listening to her will show her that you care and want to support her. For more information, please see our Do you have a healthy decision-making process? Meanwhile, I cut her some slack for not cooking cos I can do that on my own. They paralyze people and make them panic. The reason why this works is because youre not immediately jumping to conclusions about her thoughts or feelings. I dont want to see you act desperate and ruin something that is potentially salvageable. Afterwards, respect her need for space and dont continue to pester her or ask to talk until shes ready. Once she has time to process her thoughts and emotions, it is important to communicate openly and honestly with her. Luckily, there are a few good guidelines to determine how long you should wait. So, youre not going to get her back by making a big deal and clinging on even more. The thing with neediness is that its all relative to her expectations. Archived post. She shows me (the positives of the relationship). Depending on the woman, a bad argument, a breach of trust, or even a major letdown can lead to feelings of powerlessness, self-doubt, shame, and confusion, among others. Read More: Will She Come Back? This takes a lot of pressure off your girlfriend, especially if you were too needy or you were smothering her. They talked about what itd be like to get married, move in together, etc. That's how stuff goes. And thats when she asked for space? I replied. Panicking is in fact extremely unattractive. If being whipped was an Olympic sport, this guy would have been world champion. Well, imagine that that dictator of a girlfriend told him she needed some space. The problem is, most guys don't follow that advice. Thinking she had just months to live, Laura Dern's mother - NPR You wait for her to bring up being exclusive. But at all times, remember the following: Im positive that this dude would change his entire life for her if she so much as asked him. Hey, is everything going okay? Only invest in a woman who invests the same amount in you. Of course, thats if you know for sure that the stressors are all external and not related to your relationship. She may need to create a plan or decision on how to move forward. 4. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I wish I could give you a straight answer here, but Im just going to have to sit this one out. Sometimes people just shut down when they are overwhelmed. I sent you your favorite orange chicken and a bottle of wine. Without knowing your personal situation its impossible for me to say for sure. 101 52 comments Best brownman83 11 yr. ago im glad it is working out friend. If shes an avoidant, she may not feel comfortable with sustained emotional closeness and may withdraw, especially if you are needy and constantly need reassurance in the relationship. Is it because shes just been busy for weeks and doesnt have time for you? Then too, youll be doing the right thing to leave it for now. However, it is essential to know that this phrase usually means that she needs time and distance to reflect on the relationship and her feelings. When Read more hes not writing or advising people on how to thrive in their relationships, he loves exploring new places with his partner, working out, and pretending that hes good at cooking exotic stuff. Be open to constructive feedback and willing to make changes if necessary. My Girlfriend Says She Needs Space, But Still Loves Me Dont get me wrong, of course its a good thing to want to improve your relationship when a woman says she needs space. I hurt my girlfriend and now she wants space Mike told me. WTF? So, lets dive in and find the answers to your questions. It is advisable not to text her if she has explicitly asked for space. Lets start with the big one: why does she need space? The good news is that the problems that can cause her to ask for space are almost all fixable. Especially not for a woman like that. Scan this QR code to download the app now. Edit: Wow. Its almost always a cry for help, a signal that something in the relationship isnt going right. It draws a connection, it reignites an attraction to you, and we start to think, "Is he okay without me?" Keep asking questions in a calm, non-attacking way until you know whats going on. Once you understand why she needs space, it is important to give it to her. With that in mind, stress tends to affect couples the most who were already having issues. A therapist can help you and your partner work through any issues and improve communication skills. Privacy Policy. So let me break it to you theres a non-zero chance that if she asks for space, its really a cover because shes either met another guy, or an ex-boyfriend has stuck his head back into the picture. If she isnt interested, these 7 things will be helpful if you ever find yourself in the same situation with your next woman. We had some fights that led for her asking space. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. In that case, it may be a sign of deeper issues that need to be addressed, and if not appropriately addressed, the relationship may be on the brink of ending. I don't know if she'd come to expect that, at the first sign of adversity people jumped ship. My girl friend says she loves me but need a space/break - Relationship Talk All rights reserved. His girlfriend wanted space, and he didnt understand why at first. Is this just a break or is she breaking up with you? You dont (yet) know why she says she wants space. If you guys really care for each other, communicate clearly that you love her, and then back off until shes comfortable talking to you. Listen to her and try to understand her perspective. He wants a second chance to prove things can be better and he can be different. Today, ill answer these questions and many more, because its easy to mishandle the situation when she says she needs space. A woman who is prepared to work on herself and the relationship will, despite the break between you two, check in every now and then. WEVE ONLY JUST ARRIVED AND IM ALREADY SICK OF YOU!. These all put more pressure on her when pressure is the last thing she wants. When she says she needs time, you should wait as long as it takes. Can anybody tell me what I am doing wrong or whats going on? It is also important to avoid engaging in negative self-talk or blaming yourself for the situation. My rescue were the principles and techniques, that I perfected and systematized into my now popular system: FLOW. How long should I wait before I contact her? She took hours to respond whereas she took minutes before. Privacy Policy. You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. (In case you didnt know: women love men who put in a little effort into understanding them). The more legitimate her need for space, the more time she deserves. me M23, her F22, been dating for about 4 months now; she invited me over to "talk about some things" last night and told me she wants to "slow down" and needs more space while at the same time reassuring how much she still cares for me. Come onnnn, just tell me whats the matterrrrr.. *pathetic and disgusting sobbing sounds*. The best action you can take is to acknowledge what she wants and give it to her without fighting back. https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0033-2909.85.1.117, https://scholar.google.com/citations?view_op=view_citation&hl=en&user=EYAMLKYAAAAJ&citation_for_view=EYAMLKYAAAAJ:zYLM7Y9cAGgC, https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/forget-sex-the-secret-to-a-longlasting-relationship-is-space-20121105-28tle.html, https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.733456/full, Noah loves to write on matters of the heart and mind. If she is feeling overwhelmed or stressed in the relationship, it is crucial to take responsibility for your actions. She Needs space but she still contacts me everyday!?! - LoveShack.org Namely, the answer to this crucial question: Now there are roughly two situations you may find yourself in: If that last situation applies to you, you have one thing to do: Listen to her and make sure you totally understand her before you get defensive. Thats why in vain we put effort into someone whos actually not a good match for us. Be patient and trust that she will reach out when shes ready. After reading this article youll know exactly why she says she needs space and how best to handle it! You see, my dear reader, I like you. What Does It Mean When He Wants Space But Keeps Texting You? - Bolde When your girlfriend says she needs space, it can be confusing and difficult to understand. I love you, Your friends must be more interesting than me, huh?. to help work through the challenges in the relationship. But its crucial to do that with this intention: I want to make this relationship as happy as possible for the both of us and thats why Im willing to work on myself if needed., I have to make her happy and thats why I will do everything for her, hoping she wont leave me.. The 19 Most Practical Personal Growth & Development Tips Youll Find, 9 Best Places Where to Find Your Type of Girls. But she still may be unsure of what she wants from you. Let her see what life would be like without you. Good luck my friend, I hope well talk soon. Read More: Dont Chase, Let Her Go If You Want Her Back. Your relationship has only been going on for a few months and she feels like its moving too fast; Shes going through an extremely stressful period in her life, and you either arent helping, or youre making it worse; You hurt her, scared her, or damaged her trust. Giving her space shows that she needs time to reflect and recharge. I get that you want to solve the situation. Without knowing your specific situation of course, I can only give you a very general answer. You should be prepared to wait her out, however long it takes. While she is taking time for herself, it is crucial to take care of yourself. Download the Transformation Kit here. Explain to her (again) if necessary, that you want to understand her better. Well again, thanks for all the feedback and my apologies for not getting back to people sooner. Whether that's true or not is another matter, but I'll keep an eye on that. After answering the questions above, you conclude that this woman IS worth your time and energy? Unless, of course, youre willing to give me more information on your personal situation. The microscope method will definitely help you when a woman needs her space. You may as well have emptied a can of pepper spray into my face and it would have been less painful to my eyes than to watch this scene. When youre wrapped up in NRE, its not unusual to say things and do things in the short-term that wont last. You may also notice more closed-off body language from her including less affectionate touch, crossed arms, crossed legs, and less laughter or joy than usual. Just because she talks about a future with you doesnt mean she neccesarily sees one with you. Read More: The Complete Guide To The No Contact Rule. If you give her space, the chances of her coming back are far more likely than if you continue to ignore her request and keep talking to her. The good news is, you can start becoming a man she cant live without right now. Also, be sure to realize that in some cases she actually doesnt know whats going on. I understand that it goes against your instincts. You dont defend yourself as a cat backed into a corner. because the guy has stopped building on his woman's feelings of respect, attraction and love for him and has become like a neutral friend to her instead), a woman might decide to distance herself from him for a while to see how she really feels. She told me she was busy, but doing well. And she lost weight rapidly. 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PS: If you want to get my expert advice on whether or not shes gone for good, click here. Be very critical. A few years ago, I was on holiday in Turkey. Then you dont have to wait that long. After some thought, two possible situations could arise: If this woman is NOT worth your valuable time and energy, then dont invest it in her. So, when a woman needs space, a lot of men do the same thing. A lot of men over 40 (like John) that I work with have this problem, where they want to progress the relationship faster than the woman, especially if shes younger and still figuring herself out. Boundaries are one of those unspoken considerations that are often talked about online but rarely acted upon in real-time. Dont let her treat you like a lap dog. Its about you understanding her. Gf wants space and is confused of what she wants. Does she show that she cares for you, respects and loves you? When a woman says she needs space I typically see men make several mistakes: I know how terrible it is to hear that the woman you love needs space and time. people who want to leave you, but they need to find a way to work up the courage to do so, and 3.) How are you structuring your day to achieve your goals? He would give anything if she would just change her mind and decide to stay. Her feelings can, of course, change in the future, but the reality is as it is right now. You and your partner can work through your challenges and become even stronger with the right approach. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Having space means actually having space. So please, for your own sake, pay attention! You see, in some situations theres not much that you can do. I wish you a lot of fun reading it and lots of luck with this situation for now! She Says She Needs Space! 4 Successful Tips To Get Her Back NOW! On January 30th. Long story short, when a woman says she needs space, its generally because at least 1 of these things happened: In addition, its possible she has an avoidant attachment style which can exacerbate any of these. Has she not shown you to be committed to you? If she expects you to become an entirely different man for her, shes not the one. When a relationship hits a rough patch, it is not uncommon for one partner to say she needs space. A common question many people ask is, my girlfriend says she needs space, will she come back if I give her space? There is no definite answer to this question, as every situation and relationship is unique. How To Increase Your Chances, things you should tell her to get her back, Hey, I know you had a long day at work. By Lonely boy, 12 years ago on Dating. 14 Genius Tips To Give Her Space But Still Show You Care - MomJunction Give her the opportunity to tell you how she feels, without getting defensive or trying to undermine her argument. and jehovah melted the mountain - operation fireful cleanup || nsppd || 27th july 2023 So, you let her finish. If shes already told you why she wants to step back, then you can skip this step. Hey, I really enjoyed our date last night. If you notice shes been more secreitive than usual, less sexual or particularly interested in a certain friend her request for space might not really mean space. [QMAN]Im on my way darling!. But I reluctantly agreed upon some consideration. That doesn't mean giving him an hour to think about your relationship before you start calling and texting him. This could be because men tend to experience more feelings of loneliness than women. Youll also feel considerably less needy and more focused on what really matters: you. The problem was, our schedules dont match and I couldnt afford to miss a day of work. [4], Moreover, as men get older their social networks tend to shrink in size. Sometimes, taking a break can help improve the relationship and bring the partners closer together. However, suppose other negative behaviors or signals accompany the request for space. When youre happy, youre easier to be around, and youll put less pressure on your girlfriend. That first option looks like this: Theres no point in waiting around for her to come back like a sad Patrick. And now she wants space. Even so, it might be that she doesnt give you a clear and concise answer. Its a different story if theres been radio silence for ages and shes not concerned about how youre doing. How could she have said all of these things about how much he meant to her, how amazing their connection was only to throw it all away like this? Pretty much one of the best relationships, Ive been in. How it got there, I got no idea. Neediness comes from relationship insecurity, whether thats a result of childhood attachment issues, previous failed relationships, self-neglect, etc. AttractionGym.com - Oudebrugsteeg 9, 1012JN Amsterdam, The Netherlands, He would panic and do everything in his power to make sure she doesnt leave him.. More than likely, you'll calm down and realize that whatever you had planned was not a good idea. If you are able to be patient and enjoy living your life, eventually she will warm up to you if you do everything else right. That, my dear reader, is a very good question. Lets go through these scenarios really quick so you can pin it down to one or two of these things. (2019), sees it as something personal and says it is an area individual humans actively maintain around themselves into which others cannot intrude without arousing discomfort. Also, continuing texting or reaching out may come across as pushy or intrusive and can harm the relationship further. Why? Listen up, my friend: love sometimes truly is blind. What you say or what you do around your girlfriend can have a profound impact on how she feels, and what she thinks about you. Unfortunately, needy behavior can severely impact the health of your relationship. She prefers guys who are more of a challenge. Ignoring an ex that dumped you is the one of the best ways to get her back that also puts your mental health first. I dont know if Im ready for a relationship right now. While it takes a strong man to patiently wait for her feelings to develop, giving her the time to decide how she feels about you is the only way she will be able to trust you. The 5 Reasons Your Girlfriend Wants Space Long story short, when a woman says she needs space, it's generally because at least 1 of these things happened: You put too much pressure on her; Your relationship has only been going on for a few months and she feels like it's moving too fast; While neediness can be overlooked (especially during NRE), it becomes more apparent as the relationship goes on. When youre not secure in your relationship, it becomes impossible to be sensitive, warm, or understanding because you are generally seeking reassurance to calm your own insecurities instead. Dont assume you know what she is feeling just because of what she says. What Does It Mean When She Wants Space (Needs Space) Read it and weep. He wants to "save the marriage". She was so heartbroken and I will never forgive myself for making her cry like that. No. 5 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Might Need Some Space There are many reasons why a woman will ask for space from a guy, but here are 5 of the most common reasons 1. [Update] She needs some space but I feel like I've already - Reddit She Doesn't Want A Relationship But Wants To See Me Related: How To Re-Attract Her After Being Needy. That includes your daily habits, your schedule, and the systems that serve your purpose, whatever it is. Have you been together for years and has she always acted like your dream woman? Always communicate openly, listen actively, and show love and support; you can navigate this situation confidently and efficiently.