PETER: You sound angry. Search metadata Search text contents Search TV news captions Search radio transcripts Search archived web sites Advanced Search. Hitler, Manson, Jaden Smith. The sisters resume smoking.). JOE: Peter, you should do one where a baseball player can't steal second, 'cause he's on probation, for drug crimes. (A woman pumps gas in the fuel tank and the two see. Lets just get some sleep. Director: John Holmquist Assistant Director: Rick Del Carmen Writers: Brian Scully Storyboarders: Michael Loya, Annemarie Brown Plot: After creating a drunken scene at the Quahog Cinema, Brian and Peter are required to attend a 12-step program to deal with their drinking problems. I love you, buddy. As Joe brags about his sexual exploits with Bonnie, Cleveland returns to Family Guy and takes some good-natured ribbing over The Cleveland Show. Everything from before 1970. Wait, stop. Wait a minute, what should we do in the picture? Oh, God. /// Family Guy - TV Show Transcripts LOIS: Well, you may not be a cartoonist anymore, but you are a local hero for defending our beer, and apparently, that's more important than hating women. I created you! PETER: Homer, maybe we're doing this wrong. Black attended the University of California at Los . Oh, I talked too long. Daria : transcripts: Absolute Daria Files: Daria What happened? Me with future me? Transcripts - Forever Dreaming - Index page He holds his arm up and makes a fist, as he's soaring towards Homer. Homer's now on the hood of Fat Tony's car, using the sponge on himself. PETER: Wow, you work at a nuclear power plant? No one's ever told me I mattered before. Hi all, so I've written a Python function that successfully scrapes through every Family Guy episode on a transcripts website and returns the episode number, the title, the url and the full transcript text. STEWIE: How come this convenience store has so many shadowy parts? We a all armed. Comparison between the TV version and the DVD version, the latter represented by the US DVD set "Season 17". Maybe we should get out of Quahog for a while. HOMER: Alright, Peter, if we're gonna find your car, we've gotta think like a car. Whered you get that? Peter becomes conscious and wakes up seeing Homer, who's about to crush him with the rock. Champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries? Twelve. He turns the bus into downtown. HOMER: That's pretty good, but try it like this. SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN: Hey, there's a dog in the dining area! ), (They unzip their pants. Peter communicates by Morse code to Cleveland, they try various stunts that land Cleveland in the hospital and are questionable in taste. Yeah, motel rules. Dont worry. ), (Later, Peter's at the Quahog 5 News studio on Joyce's show, The Flow.). (The episode starts with five of the Griffins watching TV.) PETER: Um, I don't know. Another cut shows Peter using the sponge on his body. Ew. "This is the funniest guy I've ever met!" Mother-daughter actors Laura Dern and Diane Ladd share all in - NPR Im trying to run a bidness here. HOMER: Yeah, I got an idea about that. BRIAN: I don't know, Lois. Family Guy Fanon Wiki 4,037 pages Explore Community The Series Series Guide Editing guide in: Transcripts, Fan Transcripts Fan Transcripts Sign in to edit Contents 1 Fan made Transcripts category 1.1 Series list 2 Fan made episode rewrite transcripts 2.1 Season list Fan made Transcripts category Series list (Feel free to add one) Lucky there's a Family Guy Lucky there's a man who Positively can do All the things that make us Stewie: Laugh and cry! BRIAN: These are good, Peter. I Never Met the Dead Man 3. What a mess. PETER: Oh, hey, there. Click to reveal To help support the investigation, you can pull the corresponding error log from your web server and submit it our support team. Homer kicks Peter and punches him, then gets up and charges at him with a fist up, but Peter dodges his hit and hits him with wood. LOIS: Are you making friends in there, Brian? Lisa checks her list of thing she might be good at. Season: 12 Episode: 20 Total Episode Count: 230 Prod. Later, Nelson sees a sack with buttons for eyes and string sewed on for a mouth on it, lying on a bench with a sign saying, "Loser with Lunch money". What's the one surefire way to find a lost car? They're both pale imitations of my favorite beer, Bud Rock. ), (Peter returns on the roof. The completely drunken Peter is shown abusing his family while the clean and sober Peter is shown being a complete bore. KRUSTY: And remember, kids, TV violence is fine as long as you don't show a nipple. [Chris helps Peter let his hair down] Chris: Now you just take that beautiful hair down to the salon, and you'll be a ten. (The Griffins approach the sign, then our view turns around and the sign says, "Welcome to Springfield". STEWIE: Oh, my God, that's amazing! LISA: That's terrible. Batman, Superman, Avengers.. etc.. Movie Collection. MEG: Lisa, no one has ever done anything this nice for me. Until Peter's eyes widen. Ruff! Cloudflare Ray ID: 7eee3bc2890271fb He steps on the gas petal and drives. May I take your order? BRIAN: He's, um (Santa's Little Helper appears next to him.) Because were doing Terminator, Brian. The purple one replies, "Yeah, for a girl." I don't feel safe in my own home. I'm curious because I'm not sure how large corpora are made like this if it takes so long. PETER: How many confused old guys do you got in this town? Homer sprays water at us, cutting to the next scene, where Peter rubs himself with sponges. Well, Mr. Nosy, its actually pronounced Stewie Ee-lee-kay. Hes my Hawaiian ukulele instructor. We can use the bathroom and stretch our legs. Homer raises his left leg as he stands on a red car. (He rips off the label, revealing that it's Duff.) PETER: Okay, we'll go, but just give me a minute, I just wanna turn in my last "For Pete's Sake". 123.31.41.38 Oh, my God, your comment is getting more likes than the post. STEWIE: A slingshot! He's being helpful. What Show? (Their car then drives off without them, leaving the family in shock.). Cloudflare monitors for these errors and automatically investigates the cause. (He pulls out a six pack of beer.) Homer washes the same car from the beginning of the montage. Uh, hey, guys, do I got a Lee Keybum? Curious minds want to know documentary/Biographies movie collection. ], [The whole family groans, as he ruined the bit]. BRIAN: Well, I just figured, at home I sit with the family, so I assumed that MARGE: Have you ever drunk out of a toilet? It stops rolling and crashes inside. DR. NICK: Oh, thank goodness! Now I order you to stand down! WIGGUM: Oh, sorry, I gotta take this. (Now at the Springfield Police Station). They drive through the security gate, as well as the tire spikes popping the tires. Outside, two birds look at Meg. I bet you and me can find your car on our own. Death tells him the key is moderation so Peter decides to throw out half of the cans of beer he purchases to cut back on his drinking. When you played the saxophone, I could feel your soul coming out. If you ask me, he kind of sounded like a girl. Is that a popular expression, like "what the deuce"? Uhp, hang on. /// Gravik deals with unrest. LOIS: The Pawtucket Patriot Brewery being sued? Oh, such a nuisance! "Hey-o! LOU: Yeah, I tried to jump over a parking meter. Then, the cashier says, "Oh. (Santa's Little Helper runs to the direction Krusty pointed to. He pulls them back up and trips, then kicks Homer in the face. Look up detailed episode guides, pop culture and references revealed, Family Guy Fun, and much more! PETER: I don't know, I just woke up, too. All rights reserved, Time: 0.321s | Peak Memory Usage: 12.42 MiB | GZIP: Off | Queries: 10. Homer's skeleton rises and levitates in the air. There is an issue between Cloudflare's cache and your origin web server. ), (The musk of radiation turns them into swapped looks of themselves, then changes them back. (Santa's Little Helper runs to the hospital. (They crash into their UFO and the three aliens are sucked out. Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin are an even greater team than the Air Force! (While they walk away, Comic Book Guy sees them.). LISA: Oh, Meg, I'm sure you're good at something. Probably way more popular. The two circle each other, then closes ups start with Peter, then Homer. PETER: I'm like Michael Jordan, going out on top amid a flurry of gambling rumors. BRIAN: No, that sounds like a separate issue. Of course, youre the driver. (Now at the Springfield court, helicopters hover in the sky, news vans arrive and the Griffins walk up the steps of the court.). Series, Sequels, Trilogies, Saga Movie Collections. On the outside part of the door says, "The Next Chapter". ), (An arcade game in front of him called "Applause Applause Revolution" makes applauding sounds. See, his wife washed dishes for him. A joke that angered some bloggers. Pawtucket Patriot Ale; The best Quahog has to offer. Here's a video of some outrage. Then, looks at another headline, "Families need jobs to eat and live." Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High/Transcript - Family Guy Fanon Wiki Well, I don't know, I think he's kind of fun. Transcript for the fanon version of Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High. But dont get too worked up. This beer tastes exactly like Duff. I don't understand. Here come the Terminators. Sit! Our future selves must know were deprogramming their Terminators. The bus swerves, then rolls while they still fight. Holy Crap 3. CLEVELAND: You know why they got us sitting next to each other. No wonder he's fat and stupid and masturbates all the time. (The camera pans to a red velvet cake next to Peter. Homer screams, then Peter kicks through the window. Then, his body regenerates and he gets muscles as well. Thats a Lois Terminator. They get up, then a giant rock lands from above them, but they jump out of the way. Chitty Chitty Death Bang 4. Okay, Terminator, kill Lois. Anyway, point is, I'm sorry. Nothing is set in stone. But not me, I'm a lone wolf. (He yells, then head-gut-punches Homer. BRIAN: Hey, Stewie, I'm sorry Bart didn't want to be your friend. Right, Homer? (Footage of people are shown starting riots and chants. The two once again punch each other. (Homer comes out of a different part of a shadow of a store.). Scripts A-C Scripts D-J Scripts K-R Scripts S-Z. Stewie builds a Terminator resembling Peter to destroy Lois for trying to make him eat broccoli, but his life is in danger when things don't go as planned. This time, the man says to the monkey "I think we should see other people."). Required fields are marked *. Oh, that's nice. Chris takes Maggie's pacifier and sucks it. Action/Adventure/SciFi - Random Movies that just don't fit anywhere else yet. LOIS: Yeah, we saw Surf's Up 2. Water spays on him, waking him up.). History/Civil Wars, Cold w*r, WWI, WWII, Rebellions, Revolutions and more! He's lying. Friends forever. SQUEAKY VOICED TEEN: Welcome to Krusty Burger. Then, the floor breaks and they fall three floors down to the reactor of toxic waste. PETER: I call my comic "For Pete's Sake", because it points out things that make you shake your head and say, "For Pete's sake." Why are we standing here doing this same old bit? Were best friends. LOU: Hey, Chief, we could arrest every single car thief in Springfield. I figure we've been on the road about 20% of the time. Manage all your favorite fandoms in one place! And animated shows that make jokes about farting. Brian and Chris enter and the dogs exit the restaurant.). Not me! Later, dude! CHRIS: Yay! We lost a court case. He does the same. Panning back, the Griffins see the view of the town.). (BRIAN whispers) What the hell are you doing? Friends of Peter G Peter and Brian join Alcoholics Anonymous. PETER: We're the Griffins. What, are they gonna come here? WIGGUM: Well, that's too bad, 'cause he really needs one. BRIAN: No, no, he's not really in here! MARGE: You were trying to figure out a way to tell me that? (Meg plays it, then Lisa gets wide-eyed. Family Guy (1999) Scripts - transcripts.thedealr.net Get off the couch. There is an unknown connection issue between Cloudflare and the origin web server. Weve got to get out of here. As someone who occasionally dates the creative muse, I can vouch for the unforgiving face of a blank sheet of paper. MARGE: Good to have you. Welcome to the Family Guy Wiki, an encyclopedia of all things presented in the television show Family Guy. This site uses MediaWiki software, which allows any user to edit or create pages.